November 1, 2012

Dear Peanut & Sweetface,

Last night was Halloween.  You both have been so excited about it for weeks.  Peanut you dressed as a bleeding skeleton and Sweetface you were a red ninja.  You both looked so good.  I stayed home to pass out candy so I have no idea what it was like actually trick or treating with you.  If it was anything like in years past you did great and had a blast.

Today Sweetface asked me what he should be for the next Halloween.  I said I thought we had time to decide.  Time is a hard concept for little ones.  One week may as well be a year.  When is Christmas, my birthday, school out, etc.?  I try to show on fingers how many days, weeks or months it may take.  Trouble is if it's beyond 10 days you have no idea. 

There are moments I have a hard time around the two of you.  You get rowdy and loud and wrestle and scream and and and...  I can't seem to grasp that.  I grew up a semi-only child since my sisters were all older than me.  I didn't grow up with boys either.  Daddy says you act normal.  Sometimes I wish you would sit down and do something quiet.  It's funny because you do if you are alone.  You will both color, play with toys or read or whatever.  Once you both are in the same room though, watch out!  I try to take a mommy break once in a while to sort of re-charge myself.  I feel guilty that sometimes I wish you were quieter.

Another baby has been on my mind.  I think you would like it, but I'm not sure.  I kind of feel like that ship has sailed and I should focus on the two of you only.  But sometimes I feel like there is a third child missing from our lives.  I'm not sure we'll ever have another. 

I love you guys.  I want you to enjoy being kids.  Sometimes you worry about things you don't need to worry about.  I try to tell you to let mommy and daddy worry about that stuff.  Most of the time that works and you are OK.

Love,
Mom